Today, I didn’t Cry.

Other than the birth of my daughter, TODAY was the best day of my parenting career so far!

I say career, ‘cos that’s what it is – the most important job you will ever have if you are a parent.

Why was this the best day you ask??

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I dropped my 2 year old off to care and there were NO TEARS!

No tears from her big brown eyes, which in turn meant there were no tears from mine! …Actually, there may still have been some from me, but they were happy ones!

The hardest part about deciding to do this Digital Marketing course was getting my head around sending my girl to care.

It’s an extremely difficult decision to make, and I think a lot of parents have these concerns.

There are so many options – Do I choose day-care? Do I choose in-home care? What’s an ERO report? Where do family and friends take their children? Do I go with their recommendations?

Ultimately, it’s up to you. Different children thrive in different situations, and who knows your child better than you, right? You’ll have thoughts around:

Will my child be happy?
Will they feel neglected by me?
Will they feel that I don’t love them?
Will they get the same love and care that you give them at home?
Will they be emotional?
Will they hold it in and show no emotion at all?
Will they be able to socialise with other kids?
Will they get picked on?
Will they be able to defend themselves?
Will they eat properly?
Will they be warm enough?
Have I put in enough lunch?

You will have so much going on and your headspace may be a bit like the state of your kitchen after dinner time. And the Mum guilt. Ohhhhh the MUM GUILT IS REAL!

We know what they’re like at home, but how will they behave and react to such big changes??

Sooooooooo many questions, and the answers to these, of course, not black and not white.

But Mama, your gut feeling is a very a special thing. It’s a sixth sense. We all have it. Trust it.
Everyday may not be as rosy, and by having this expectation you will be setting yourself up for failure.

Who knows – Tomorrow’s drop-off may be terrible and I may have a little girl, with big feelings, at the window balling her eyes out.

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BUT today, on this Tuesday the 2nd April 2019,  I feel like I did something right! I really was questioning myself, and before anyone says anything, I know transitions and big changes like these take time. Hell, It took 2 months of crying at every drop off, but TODAY will go down in history book for me. It just affirms that we’ve made the right choice…and also takes away a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit of the mum-guilt.

The best feeling today was driving away with my windows down, my hair blowing in the wind and singing on the top of my lungs to Katie Perry’s “Roar” blasting on the radio!

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Today I’m a winner.
Ayah is a winner.
And I’m so excited to mum!

Thoughts on a Page,

Insaaf

2 thoughts on “Today, I didn’t Cry.

  1. Three children, 3 daycares, know exactly what you are talking about. You absolutely are doing the right thing by looking out for yourself and your career and the fact that you’ve chosen something that will allow you some flexibility means you will maybe be at home when she’s a teenager (which I always think is a really important time to make sure you are around). It doesn’t matter at what age or stage you are in your parenting guilt it is just part of the package. I used to work in a preschool and we could swear by something we fondly called the 3 day blues, don’t want to dull your roar but just keeping you informed 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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